Sunday, June 26, 2011

Thirty-Something? Welcome to the Good Years...

I have a very sneaking suspicion that my thirties are going to be far better than my twenties ever were. Perhaps that's not the normal order of things for some, but it sure as heck feels that way to me. Honestly, I don't know how you're supposed to truly enjoy yourself when you're younger and don't know who you are or what you believe. (Oh, sure, you think you do, but really...)

So much of life in your twenties is defined by all the remnant voices in your head from everything you've been taught, all your safe, nurtured pre-conceptions and your level of emotional independence. And emotional independence is a trait that the population appears to be losing sight of, sadly. It seems like a lot of young people are far more reliant on their parents than ever before. It's like a whole generation of adults who never really left the nest, a whole generation of parents who won't let go. An example... I work in a doctor's office and I still get calls from fifty-something year old mothers who are setting up their thirty-year-old's medical appointments. I could have been privy to that kind of parenting, but, I didn't stick around to partake. It too often came with a leash. As life would have it, I chose a scarier route... one where circumstances didn't allow me to fall back on the parentals to think/act/survive through my twenties. And you know, sometimes I really wish I could have, because it's nice to have help when you can. It's cool to have a safety net, there's nothing wrong with that. But, I guess, by not having it (or by opting out for the sake of personal freedom), I've been learning a lesson that I badly needed. The universe knew I'd have to work hard on honing my inner strength, personal fortitude. Having the faith in my own singular ability to manifest my own happiness has been a struggle! But, nowadays I believe strongly that we contain all that we're created to be and that we should love the hell out of ourselves first so that we attract the right kind of love in return.

I'm just scratching the surface of this loving the hell out of myself thing, but I have to say, I think I've got it! At least a foot in the door, anyway. Something shifted in my psychology, especially in the last year, that set me on this path where I'm realizing myself, seeing myself with conscious purpose. And that purpose seems to have a lot to do with emerging as my best self. Seeing the beauty in who I am and encouraging the same in others.

How often do you look in the mirror and say, "God... I am SO stinking adorable I can't even stand it." Seriously. If you're not to that point, chat/email me. I'll getcha' there.

Also, one more thing, and this is important. I'm not certain (especially for my girls out there), if you understand your own fabulousness yet, but let me just courage that attitude whole-heartedly. Now, I don't mean conceit. I don't mean, "I am so much better than everyone else." Please, don't do that, for it will likely get you bitch-slapped. What I mean is self-love (yeah, yeah... perverts.) But, really, I mean recognizing the tremendous gift you are to the world and how you uniquely impact others. If you haven't acknowledged that, if you're still hiding that tremendous spirit in a hole somewhere, you have got to let it out! Nothing has felt better to me, so far, than the sudden moment when I realized how cool it was to be me and how much I deserved love. You wouldn't think that revelation should be so hard for somebody, but, apparently it really just is for the good majority of us.

Thirty-one. I should be freaking out about the "2" being gone from my age, according to some, but all I can do is think, THANK GOD, I can get on with my life. It just feels better. I can sense who I am and who I'm meant to be. I can honestly say I love me and am putting self-care first. Not too shabby. It can only get better from here. And I am soooo ready, man. Let's DO IT!!! LET'S GO!!!!

Love you!


1 comment:

Jessica said...

Awwww yay Jen!!! Such a true post :). My birthday is coming up (I'm still in my late 20's) and I've kind of got the same attitude. Hey, a new year can't hurt right? All that can happen is that things will get better! :)

Oh yeah, and I'm totally adorable. I know this. SO ARE YOU! Hugs.