Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Quest for THOR--A Dauntless Journey

It all started yesterday...

No. Scratch that. It all started last weekend when we went to see Avengers. It was from that time on that I was a woman on a mission. Anyway, there was no way I was passing up the opportunity to see THIS...

...on the big screen TV. Seriously.

So back to yesterday, I and my partner in crime for the day (my good friend's younger daughter--practically a little sister to me--we'll call her "O")... and I decided that we'd hit up a Redbox on the way back from Seattle Center (where we'd been chillin' out and maxin' at the Folklife Festival.) 

We'd planned it out like pirates. No big. Escape Seattle proper, hit up the DVD rentals and go home for some well deserved muscular Marvel bliss. Easy right?

...

...

NO. No it was bloody well not.

The universe was conspiring against us from the get-go, either that or it wanted me to PROVE my dedication to the cause. And the ordeal began with Battle Seattle, as I've dubbed it, which included a lot of fruitless driving around and getting lost while trying to get the hell back to the I-5. One phone call to the bestie for assistance, a bout of asking for directions from strangers, and my first ever fender bender later, we'd escaped the city and were heading in the right direction. All was well again.

We stopped at Outback for dinner, where full and happy bellies lulled us into a false sense of optimism about the course the rest of the evening would take. Behold the power of steak:


After dinner, O and I headed to QFC's Redbox, since all the old school DVD rental stores seem to be out of business these days, and we found that Thor had been sold out. But that was fine, because we could just go to Fred Meyer and surely they'd have it.

Except that they didn't.

But oh well. It was all good. Because Walgreen's would have it. Of course they would.

Except that they didn't--those stupid jerks.

But it was totally under control, because we hadn't tried Safeway yet!--and it was right across the street.  And Safeway would have Thor. Safeway would not fail us. No way, because who actually shops at Safeway anyway?

We practically peed with glee when we saw the Thor case on the shelf until we opened it to find that the whole thing was a beautiful lie! Empty. Like my heart.

Luckily, however, the nice info desk man told us to try 7/11. "All 7/11's have Redbox," he said. And HOORAY! Hope was reborn.

So we headed for the 7/11 next to the Safeway. And you know what?

7/11 can kiss my ass. BUPKIS. No Thor. No Thor for me!

Redbox was screwing with me now, and I was turning fetal. O's literal and ear-splitting war cries were the only things keeping me from withering into nothingness...plus it was getting kinda late and in spite of her begging me not to relent---to just try that one last 7/11 on the way home---I threw in the towel, determined to go to Target in the morning where they were guaranteed to have Thor. And also, I desperately needed  a GPS system, because I can get lost crossing the street.

So it began anew today, with me primping a little before going out because I wanted to make my best impression on Target's DVD stocks. Couldn't take any chances.  And "O" came along, of course, because she was just invested now. She was going to tear down the world to get to this movie, because it didn't even matter about the hotness anymore, we just weren't going to fail again. And so we took to the road, headed for our inevitable success, singing happily in my car all the way. \

The sun shone encouragingly through my sunroof. Target loved us, the world was on our side, this was gonna be great.

ACCEPT THAT THEY DIDN'T MOTHER BLEEPING HAVE THE BLEEPING DVD!

No. Listen. This shit was REAL now.

There had been a run on Thor, Target told us. And apparently also Captain America. And that they're stock was actually, somehow, a negative number. A negative number! How is that even possible???

I was going numb by now and had to forbid "O" from HULK SMASHing the electronics aisle, but I still
needed a GPS, so I priced a Garmen, bought one and headed to the car to try it out.

"So why don't we do that one last 7/11?" O said.
"Uuugh," I said.
"Come on! We can't give up, yet! I have to have this movie. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU DID THIS TO ME!"
*Guilty face*

Our final glimmer of a chance seemed to rest in the hands of a 7/11 on 228th Street in Bothell, Washington, and I determined that, DVD aside, at least I'd come away with a Slurpie.

When we got there, there was a mom and her two boys in front of us who were already using the Redbox machine. But that was perfectly all right. We'd just wait our turn, except that:

"They want Thor!" "O" whispered to me, horrified.
"...What?"
"The kids..."

As I listened I noted the two young boys relentlessly pestering their mom with the word, "Thor! We want Thor."

On the outside, I reacted well enough. I nudged "O" not to draw attention to our mutual interest in said movie, and perhaps the demon spawn--er--little angels would get distracted by a nice DreamWorks, or maybe even a different Marvel adaptation. One that wasn't Thor. One that wouldn't lead to me building a voodoo doll of their mother and smacking it against the wall for three hours.

At this point, I think "O" just couldn't take it anymore, and as the word "Thor" was uttered once again by one of the little tykes, she sweetly joked to mom about how we'd searched high and low for two days trying to find said film, to which voodoo mom replied, "Oh, no, really?" and then laughed, hesitating...

And I don't know why I said the next few words, but my stupid sense of propriety got the better of me, and I answered, "Oh, it's okay. You were first."

WHAT?????

NO!!!!

SCREW MANNERS. I could have taken that mom. I'm scrappy.

But nooooo. *grumble*

So, "O" and I waited our turn, hoping and praying that voodoo mom and her children had not rented the last one in stock.

But they had.

Sigh.

As I pulled out of the 7/11 parking lot, I bemoaned my passivity, and "O" said,
"Well. The children's happiness comes first."
"No it doesn't! They're not even old enough to watch that movie. They stole my Thor!"
"Fine, then why don't we run down their car wearing ski masks and nab the DVD."
*blink* "....Did you see which direction they were going?"
"Jennifer! The children's--"
"Oh, fine. I want tacos. Let's turn here."
"OH! There's another grocery store."
"What are the chances... do you think they have a Redbox?"
"I don't know, but it's worth checking it out. WE CANNOT GIVE UP."
*Groan of inevitable defeat.*

But we parked anyway, entering the depths of an unknown grocer with heavy hearts, dragging our sorry asses like SamWise carried Frodo up the last of an exploding mountain.

And there she was... Lady Redbox...tucked in a corner with a change machine and some seasonal stuffed toys and a woman just ahead of us on her cell phone. She gave up her search and left us to one last try. Perhaps she, too, had forlornly given up the quest for Thor.

I did as we'd done a million times before, selecting the "T"S and scrolling over, expecting to see Thor grayed out in non-selectable misery.

But wait.

Something...

Something was different. The DVD was...AVAILABLE??????

"PUSH IT!" Ordered "O", shaking me from my confusion. "PUSH THE BUTTON!"

So I did. I selected Thor, only half-believing, expecting a little sadistic clown to pop out at any moment laughing and pointing and and singing about how it had fooled us again, you miserable saps.

But there was no sadistic clown ANYwhere. Rather, Thor waited in my check-out box for the taking. And you know what else?  IT was the last Thor in that Redbox. WE HAD FOUND THE ONE TRUE, SHIRTLESS, DEMI-GOD RING. IT WAS OURS.

And oh...the victory was sweet.


"O"s glory.

My exhausted but utter agreement.

BEHOLD

And so, tonight, we will pop popcorn, we will lay back upon the victor's couch and we will watch this movie. We will watch the HELL out of this movie. In fact, I might even watch it TWICE. 

And I shall sleep the sleep of a well-Thored woman.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

What's up, just wanted to say, I enjoyed this blog post. It was practical. Keep on posting!

Feel free to surf to my web-site Wholesale NFL Jerseys

Anonymous said...

I have read some good stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting.

I wonder how a lot effort you place to create this sort of magnificent informative site.


Visit my website - Wholesale NFL Jerseys

Anonymous said...

I am really grateful to the holder of this web page who has
shared this fantastic paragraph at here.

Feel free to surf to my page: Michael Kors Outlet

Anonymous said...

Unquestionably believe that which you stated.
Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the easiest thing to be aware of.
I say to you, I definitely get irked while people think about worries that they just
don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

Take a look at my site explorethecapabilities.com

Anonymous said...

hello!,I love your writing very a lot! percentage we communicate more about your article on AOL?
I require a specialist in this area to unravel my
problem. May be that is you! Having a look ahead to peer you.



My site :: Louis Vuitton Outlet Online

Anonymous said...

Thanks for finally talking about > "The Quest for THOR--A Dauntless Journey"
< Loved it!

Here is my weblog ... Michael Kors Handbags

Anonymous said...

Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite
justification appeared to be on the net the easiest
thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think
about worries that they just don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

my weblog; NFL Jerseys Cheap

Anonymous said...

Heya i'm for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.

My website ... Chaussure Air Jordan

Anonymous said...

Touche. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the great spirit.



my weblog ... gafas De sol oakley

Anonymous said...

I'm really loving the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A couple of my blog readers have complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?

Here is my website; Sac A Main Louis Vuitton

Anonymous said...

Hurrah, that's what I was exploring for, what a stuff! existing here at this web site, thanks admin of this site.

Also visit my homepage: http://slc-wireless.com

Anonymous said...

Hello, its fastidious piece of writing on the topic of media
print, we all know media is a enormous source of facts.


my homepage :: Michael Kors Canada

Anonymous said...

It's appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I've read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions.
Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.
I desire to read even more things about it!

My web blog ... Louis Vuitton Outlet

Anonymous said...

We're a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with helpful info to work on. You have done a formidable job and our entire community might be thankful to you.

Here is my web site Authentic Evgeni Malkin Jersey

Anonymous said...

Great work! That is the kind of info that are meant to be shared across the web.

Disgrace on the seek engines for not positioning
this post upper! Come on over and consult with my website
. Thank you =)

Stop by my webpage Nike Air Jordan

Anonymous said...

Thanks designed for sharing such a fastidious idea, paragraph is pleasant,
thats why i have read it fully

Look at my web blog ... source

Anonymous said...

I could not resist commenting. Well written!


Stop by my blog post - This Site

Anonymous said...

Since the admin of this web site is working, no hesitation very rapidly it will be well-known,
due to its feature contents.

my web-site; This Site

Anonymous said...

I have been browsing online greater than 3 hours these days, but I never found any attention-grabbing
article like yours. It's pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the internet might be a lot more helpful than ever before.

Review my web page :: Chaussures De Football Pas Cher

Anonymous said...

I've read a few excellent stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how a lot effort you place to create one of these fantastic informative website.

Feel free to visit my homepage: Nike Free 5.0

Anonymous said...

You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but
I find this matter to be really something which I think I
would never understand. It seems too complicated and
very broad for me. I'm looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

my blog post: Louis Vuitton Purses Outlet

Anonymous said...

Hello, the whole thing is going nicely here and ofcourse every one
is sharing information, that's really excellent, keep up writing.

My web site: More Help

Anonymous said...

I almost never leave a response, but i did a few searching and wound up here
"The Quest for THOR--A Dauntless Journey". And I
actually do have a couple of questions for you if you tend not to mind.
Could it be simply me or does it look like a few of
the remarks appear as if they are coming from brain dead people?
:-P And, if you are writing on other online sites, I'd like to keep up with everything new you have to post. Could you list of all of all your social pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

Look into my blog post; Tory Burch Flats ()

Anonymous said...

Greetings! Very helpful advice within this post! It is the little changes that
make the greatest changes. Many thanks for sharing!

Take a look at my weblog: Air Max Femme ()

Anonymous said...

I rarely create responses, but i did a few searching and wound up here "The Quest for THOR--A Dauntless Journey".
And I actually do have a couple of questions for you if you don't mind. Could it be just me or does it look like a few of the comments look as if they are coming from brain dead visitors? :-P And, if you are writing at other online sites, I'd like to keep up
with everything fresh you have to post. Would you
make a list of every one of all your communal pages like
your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?



Here is my web-site ... website

Anonymous said...

Definitely believe that that you said. Your favourite reason
seemed to be on the internet the simplest thing to remember of.
I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while folks consider issues
that they plainly don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest as neatly as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , other people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

Also visit my site: Oakley Sunglasses

Anonymous said...

I used to be able to find good advice from your blog
articles.

Also visit my web-site: Borsa Gucci

Anonymous said...

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up!

I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back down the road. Many thanks

my web-site - Sac A Main Louis Vuitton

Anonymous said...

Nice answers in return of this issue with solid arguments and telling the
whole thing concerning that.

Here is my webpage Michael Kors Outlet

Anonymous said...

Hi there I am so grateful I found your blog page, I really found you by accident, while I was
browsing on Yahoo for something else, Anyhow I am
here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a remarkable post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also
included your RSS feeds, so when I have time
I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the fantastic b.


My homepage ... Michael Kors Outlet

Anonymous said...

We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.

Your website provided us with valuable info
to work on. You've done an impressive job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

Here is my web-site ... LeBron James 10 Shoes

oakleyses said...

polo lacoste, ray ban uk, lululemon canada, sac vanessa bruno, michael kors outlet, north face uk, kate spade, michael kors outlet online, uggs outlet, uggs outlet, replica handbags, nike air max, oakley pas cher, sac hermes, abercrombie and fitch uk, hollister uk, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, nike free uk, michael kors outlet, michael kors, nike roshe run uk, michael kors outlet online, nike air force, guess pas cher, michael kors, converse pas cher, timberland pas cher, burberry handbags, mulberry uk, nike tn, north face, coach purses, nike blazer pas cher, true religion outlet, coach outlet store online, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, hollister pas cher, hogan outlet, burberry outlet, michael kors outlet online, true religion jeans, new balance, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet, ralph lauren uk, nike air max uk

oakleyses said...

chi flat iron, hollister, reebok outlet, lululemon, converse outlet, p90x workout, babyliss, hollister clothing, hermes belt, hollister, converse, nike trainers uk, nfl jerseys, ghd hair, herve leger, mcm handbags, baseball bats, iphone cases, mont blanc pens, north face outlet, jimmy choo outlet, instyler, louboutin, ralph lauren, wedding dresses, bottega veneta, new balance shoes, longchamp uk, nike roshe run, soccer shoes, nike air max, valentino shoes, abercrombie and fitch, mac cosmetics, gucci, vans, nike huaraches, timberland boots, insanity workout, vans outlet, beats by dre, oakley, ray ban, north face outlet, giuseppe zanotti outlet, asics running shoes, ferragamo shoes, nike air max, celine handbags, soccer jerseys

yanmaneee said...

adidas yeezy
bape hoodie
supreme
adidas yeezy
ultra boost
ultra boost
golden goose outlet
supreme t shirt
yeezy boost 350 v2
calvin klein outlet

Anonymous said...

supreme
kd 15
curry shoes
bape outlet
kyrie 6
supreme hoodie
curry shoes
jordan shoes
pg shoes
golden goose sneakers