You know how we constantly hear the old adage about how women are so complex, we're emotional, we're insecure, etc, blah, blah? And you know how we tend to label men as simple, uncomplicated creatures, sex-machines who are seemingly easy to understand and deal with? Well, the stereotypes are wide-spread, but, I am beginning to doubt their accuracy. My interactions with dudes in the last few years have really smashed a lot of those jaded ideologies to shreds and left me to start from scratch. After a conversation with a male coworker/friend, I've decided to blog about some mutual observations--open for interpretation and outside opinions, by any gender and by all means.
1. Men are simple and unemotional.
Uh... you know... not true. It's not fair to say so, either. Men are just as complicated as women, but, the difference is their coping mechanism. Women tend to be much more willing to express insecurity, sadness or fear, and that's surely societal. I mean, we've been gearing girls to be blushing, shrinking, emotive violets for literal ages, essentially teaching them that it's expected of a woman to display as much. Men, however, having been shaped from all that hunting-fighting-ass-kicking-because-somebody's-gotta-kill-stuff business were forged with a paradoxical ideal, so, it seems to be a struggle with their psychological biology to admit it. Which brings us to point two...
2. Men are more confident than women.
Wow. Okay. NO. No, no, no. I really don't believe this. Men are better at faking confidence, though. They're better at giving themselves pep talks, at tolerating rejection, because again, think of the roles we've become accustomed to. Man has been the seeker...the chooser... therefore he had the upper hand. Women want to wait around to be sought... chosen, which is a big point of disadvantage. Anyway, I worry about guys, because there is definite repression going on, they hold more in, and you know what, in spite of this point usually being attributed to ladies, I suspect that men judge themselves with the same harsh eye as women. How many guys do you know who feel like they have to be the "provider"? How many male egos all but freak out at the prospect of a girlfriend/wife who makes more money than them? And do you know a guy who can't stand to lose? Who feels the need to start fights just to prove their courage? I've seen a lot of that, and kudos to the guys who are gentler in nature, but my heart aches for the ones who struggle otherwise. More than that, do women perpetuate this pressure by settling into traditional roles so readily? You know, if it works for you (and it does for the many), then rock on. I just wonder if it's time for an all around shift in consciousness...
3. Men are Always Horny.
Straight from a male friend's mouth, "women tend to think we think of them as just a piece of meat. I can't speak for everybody, but I know it's not true for me." In fact, I'd promise you the majority of my male friends feel the same way. But, society keeps on banging that old line over our heads anyway. Yes, guys love the sex, but that doesn't mean they live for it. And let's get something straight here. Women think about sex plenty. I can personally attest to this, being who I am and pulling from the loud opinion of a very extended female friend base--chicks love sex, too. But this is one point where we are accustomed to repression, for some reason. Maybe because women tend to make their own needs secondary to those of their families... another bit of psychological evolution? Religious teachings from childhood, hell, even medical error from generations past have really made it a struggle to let our sexual flags show, that's for damn sure, but the desire is there, the passion is there. Interesting note: I can remember, in one of my grandmother's very old nursing school books (probably from the 30's or 40's?), reading a passage about reproduction that said, (and I'm paraphrasing here), "Contrary to popular belief, the female orgasm is a myth. Women do not experience any pleasurable sensations in the vagina during sexual intercourse." .............. Even as a kid I knew that shit was bogus, and it struck me as such a lie that I never forgot it!
Anyway, I think deepening and enlightening the lines of communication between the sexes can only be a good thing. Embrace the good in our differences, but don't fuel the machine of negative and limiting cliches. Maybe we can try not to be so hard on eachother, eh?