Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Shine On

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. - Marianne Williamson

I love this quote, because it speaks of the limitlessness of the human spirit. When I think about all we're capable of, just a single one of us, it actually aches. And the reason it aches is because I know how fear holds us back, pins us down under the weight of self-consciousness or even self-loathing to the degree that we refuse our own light.

Fear is a bitch. It causes us to believe that we're not good enough. I've seen it happen, I've experienced it myself. And for everything we can accomplish with one life, think of all that we don't, simply because we're terrified of a dirty look, a rude remark. At the root of these frightening concepts seems to be the fear of rejection and failure.

I'm afraid of both of those, but I'm still taking steps to suck it up anyway, even if it means I have to deal with a few crucial points. In fact, I'm struggling with one particularly disturbing bit of knowledge lately that really stands to test your willingness to "be all you can be" so to speak. And that is: Not everyone is going to like you.

Ok... so, no kidding, right? But, this thought is a hard one for me, because I find that sometimes people will dislike you simply because. Not, you know, because you deserve it, or because you've done anything wrong, but just because. Maybe you've done too many things right, too many good things, and that frustrates people because they feel they have to compete with your path. Now, if you think of life as a giant competition to outdo everyone else, then I'd imagine this constant (and exhausting) practice of disliking most people makes sense to you. But it doesn't for me, because I'm not about to try and live someone else's purpose. My hope is that everyone who reads this blog becomes super incredibly mega successful at everthing they ever want to do. Find immense joy doing whatever it is you love most, and change the world for the better! Use your light. I won't try and cap it. I'll turn a mirror to it and magnify the whole thing.

So, out of all of the above wordage, you can't make everyone like you... and you shouldn't try (she tells herself), because you'll end up squashing your own light in fear that its brightness will make others uncomfortable. Just act from your heart... and if that means doing something amazing, for the love of all the world, DO IT!

Then, that second point, failure. Ooof. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really afraid of failing... or if, in truth, I'm more afraid of succeeding because of all the responsibility that comes with it. Again, I've been stomping out those cockroachy thoughts every time they crop up in my brain lately, because there is nothing in this universe you can be faced with or given that you can't handle. And yes, even the big mega scary important things are built into your story and intended for your journey. But the worry is that with success comes even more chance to disappoint people--and Lord in heaven knows, if you're like most people I've known and loved, you don't like to let anyone down.

Course, when you think of life as school, and consider that the only one you have to really make proud in the end is you... (assuming that you're acting from love), you'll end up pleasing most people anyway.

Imagine what one person can do if they simply went on, from fall to fall, wiped off the dust and kept whistling. Imagine if we worked to ignore the negative and only took the positive to heart. How much happier could we be? I'm not totally sure myself, since I'm still working on trying to figure out how to do this, but if any of you have some pointers, please share with the blog. Mean time, keep on laughing and creating the beautiful.

Peace, love and appreciation,
Jen

3 comments:

Book Crazy Jenn said...

Beautiful...if we could only take to heart your words...

Tracitalynne said...

oh honey, sing it. I have come up against this a lot with myself. Totally a fear of being successful, how silly is that? But it's there.
I used to be super duper skinny (not so much anymore, but still...) and people would regularly, without provocation, call me a bitch. As in, "you're so skinny, you bitch!" in a joke-funny way, but it still hurt, because they really meant it. It wasn't anything I worked at, it was just my metabolism (I know, I was one of THOSE people) so it really sucked. And so whenever something good that I worked for happened, I would often sabotage it so people wouldn't hate me. Bleah.

Anyway, Ms. DeLucy, I promise to love you no matter how much you shine, and girl you are pretty shiny already!

xoxo

Jen said...

Ladies, love you both!

And Traci, the above sounds like a wedding vow... *batts eyes under veil.*

You know, I've had the opposite problem than you, yet I can totally relate. I've never been a skinny girl, so I always felt I had to work extra hard to prove that I was everything stigma suggested I was not as a bigger girl, (though, today I understand that my worth was quite in tact all along, no matter what anyone else thought.)

Moral of the story, people can and will think all sorts of nasty things about you simply because that's the knee jerk, human reaction--to look for fault in someone else before others can find it in you. That's why I feel it's important to surround yourself with people who think on a higher level than that, who will appreciate and love and respect you for all that you are and will be.

HUGS! <3